Recently I have been paying attention to the news a little bit more. I have seen the riots on the streets in most of our major cities and the "Walks on Wall Street". I know a major issue brought up is unemployment and growing loan rates that seem to smother our average working citizen or recent college graduate. Well have no fear, I am here to give you a job description and hook you up.
Requirements: You must be above the age of 18, 17 if you are given a waiver from a parental guardian. If you have a college degree you qualify for a higher starting salary and higher position of authority. You could possibly start with as many as 30 individuals underneath you. You must meet specific weight requirements that essentially define that you are not obese. You must be under the age of 40, but again a waiver can be drawn up if it is deemed that you are healthy. There is no disqualification for prior felony charges, gang relation, or any other major mishap in your life prior.
Benefits: Your starting salary will not be too large. This is no 60,000 dollar organization off of the bat. However, almost all individuals will qualify for retrograde college assistance (aka we will give you a lump sum to pay back a portion, if not all of your college loan debts). You and anyone in your immediate family will be covered 100% medically, be that dental and regular. You will receive a housing allowance based on your rank, or housing will be provided for you. You will no longer have to live at home with your family. In fact for those that complain that they still have to live at home with your family, we actually can almost guarantee up to a year away from your family at certain points. You may be able to live abroad as well. We have sites in Italy, Denmark, Germany, and Japan just to name a few. If you decide to stay with our organization for a long period of time we will pay for your graduate degree and pay you full time duty pay while you are at graduate school.
Warnings: There is a slight chance that you may be hurt or experience hardships while working with our organization. There may be some long nights and early days. Your mind and body may be exposed to abuse that we intend just to toughen you up for better service within our organization.
I am sure you are aware that I am talking about military service. I find it funny that the jobs people tend to say they "respect" are inherently the ones they do not want to do. This past year while I was injured I got to spend four months living with my parents, and it was some of the best times of my life. I have understanding, but minimal sympathy for the complaints on college loans and debt. I have minimal sympathy for those that have been crushed by the job market. Ahh, no one was complaining about our free enterprise when it was booming and the job market was great. Well, the ideals of free enterprise have not changed, we are just merely upset that some of us have been left out in the cold as of late. Well come on into military service, the fire is nice, the benefits are great, but enter at your own risk.
This in no way shape or form intended to insult anyone, just a mere observation.
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