Trite- hackneyed or boring from much use : not fresh or original
I sheepishly walked into Aldrich 09 and found a seat in the front row. Alumni from the classes of 1972,1977, 1982, and 1987 surrounded me in the classroom that seats 100 people. The room was full, individuals were sitting in the aisle. I look towards the front, the speaker is being fitted with a microphone as the lecture was going to be broadcast in other classrooms since there was no more available space in Aldrich 09. I felt small in a room of business tycoons, real estate moguls, and highly successful people. I looked at the speaker before he began and he smiled. The speaker was my father and the topic was authentic leader development.
Twenty minutes in and several jokes later, my father moved towards his first story he wanted to share. He wanted to share a video clip of General Norman Schwarzkopf speaking to the corps of cadets at West Point in 1991. As he clicked the video I sat back and pondered how this video would be received.
If you leave here with the word duty implanted in your mind.
If you leave here with the word honor carved into your soul.
If you leave here with love of country stamped on your heart.
Than you will be a 21st century leader, worthy, and I do mean worthy.
Of the great privilege and honor of leading magnificent young men and women.
Who are the sons and daughters of America.
-General Norman Schwarzkopf
I felt chills run through my body. I have seen this clip maybe 100 times and every time it elicits a visceral response. The lights came up, we were given a couple minutes to talk with a neighbor, then my father brought the room back together and said, "So what do you think?" A man in the back row shot his hand up. "Go ahead," said my father. The man stared back with a coy smile on his face and said, "Quite frankly I found it a bit trite."
I sat in my apartment and turned on ESPN. Outside the lines was on and they were doing a piece on Eric LeGrand. Eric and I have a connection, one he may never know about. I snapped back to the first time I had heard of Eric Legrand.
October 16, 2010- I woke up in my hospital bed after having a nightmare and I looked over at my Mom who was asleep in a chair in the room. It was noon and it had been a long night. The nerve damage in my foot had kept me up for the majority of the night as my Mother held my hand while I screamed in agony. I glanced at my foot, the bandage was soaked through in blood and I wondered, "Would I keep my foot?" My Mom now was waking up and asked me, "Lets put the TV on, you should watch something, what would you like to watch?" After 6 months in an outpost that had limited running water, 1 TV with no time to watch it, I said ,"I want to watch the Army Rutgers game." As the game went on I would dose in and out of a drug induced daze. Rutgers had just scored a touchdown and was kicking the ball off to Army. I watched as Malcom Brown brought the ball up field for Army, LeGrand leaped through a block and hammered Malcom. I thought, "Damn thats a huge hit." I watched the screen as I saw LeGrand's body go limp. He was not moving, his legs and arms were motionless. Eric was paralyzed from the neck down.
As I watched the Outside the Lines program they spoke about Eric's fight to gain his ability to walk again. "Believe" is his slogan that he uses to help motivate himself back to being able to walk. I felt energy going up and down my body. I threw on some shorts, grabbed my running shoes, and took off towards the gym.
I made my way to the 3rd floor of Shad Fitness Center. I looked around the indoor track to make sure no one else was around and placed my bag on the floor. I started walking the track and thinking about LeGrand and his battle. "I have to believe I can run," I started to amp myself up. One foot down then the other. I began running. It felt amazing, I was running again and the adrenaline in my body prevented me from feeling any type of pain. As I completed my first lap, I felt alive again. One foot in front of the other as I ran the track. Then it happened. As I planted my right foot coming around a turn my calf and foot gave away and I slammed into the track floor. The feeling of pain shot back through me. I lay there on the track and began to cry. I punched the track floor and went back to earlier in the day, "Trite? Fucking Trite? Are you kidding me? Is that how my military brothers and sisters in arms are viewed? Trite?"
I felt my heart sink in my chest. "Did he really just say that?" My Father turned around after the comment and shot me a glance. I couldn't get any lower in my chair. I watched my father and wondered how he would handle this situation. I watched as the man who made the comment sat back in his chair, smiling, perhaps thinking to himself how wonderful his comment was. I wanted my Father to belittle him, to embarrass him, to destroy him. My Father did none of that, he deflected and moved on. Afterwards we spoke, and he was upset about the comment as well. When I asked him why he didn't directly respond to that comment he said, "Kyle, not everyone in life is going to get "it". There will be situations where you don't get it. In fact it is borderline arrogant to believe or think that they should get "it". There was nothing good or constructive that would have come from publicly embarrassing him. Let's be positive here, it did start the conversation."
I didn't buy it at first, but as I sit here typing out my thoughts I feel as though I somewhat understand. While I do believe the comment was arrogant, obnoxious and uncalled for it did start the conversation and the internal debate I am having with myself now. For those of you who truly know me, you know that I am extremely shy, to the point of being awkward. Sharing these types of stories is a quantum leap from how I usually act or behave. Sometimes I feel as though my true authenticity is never realized because I would never say what I write here out loud. I feel as though situational awareness is a weak point for me and I am constantly working on that. Starting the conversation essentially is the main purpose of this blog. I would never be so naive to believe that everything I write here is well accepted and agreed upon between all of my readers. I do however find serenity in the fact that it begins the conversation, which in my opinion is always a good thing.
Thank you for reading.
